the light

the meaning of life

this week has been such a mixed blessing, have i already written about it?

first of all the weather has been heavenly. i couldn’t have used the word heavenly more intentionally than i just did. the sky has been blue, the temperature has required fun sweaters, wind in your face leaves always falling. a much better time to fall in love. much better than spring.

even though it’s always spring.

but yeah my life is a mess. kemi says i’m foolish. it’s just a clutter. my life has never been so cluttered. there was a time when i was a sophomore in high school that it was pretty bad. it’s just as bad now but in a different way of course, because everything is always different and everyone is always different.

i thought about the meaning of life for a long time last night. i kept thinking about how people always follow patterns. we say the same things, we do the same things, life passes us by and we feel like we didn’t remember any of it. i think it’s patterns. when i think of myself lately i remind myself of my mom and how she was always saying “if only i had time to do what i really wanted to do” i am starting to feel the same way.

it’s easy for me to criticize my mom. i saw it, she followed the same patterns each day every day. that’s life, life is rough and unfair. but maybe i can change the way i see it. maybe life is soft and fair. maybe this time around i’ll make time to do the things i really want to do and i’ll actually figure out the things i really want to do instead of just saying fuck it at the end of the less-than-ideal day. the first step is to break the pattern. all my stupid childhood patterns.

suck it rian suck it

either i’m addicted to bloggin’ or i’m just avoiding writing a really boring paper on analyzing current disease treatment from an 18th century perspective. i wonder which one it is?!?!?!?

i sent out like 1244012629 emails in the past hour. here’s a list of the recipients:

kyrstin
josh
slips
xiao-an
josh
mandana
sheeshee
josh
dylan
space faces
mandana
rurik

now here’s the real question: should i forward them all to kate?

the thermals need drugs just to stay alive

happy halloween, betches!

man, i love good concerts, and there’ve been quite a few lately. thermals rocked the middle east tonight, old time relijun and AIDS wolf kicked ass on friday, to name a few. and black dice may be playing on thursday? let’s keep our fingers crossed.

i’ve decided that grading psets is the worst task ever. much worse than doing psets, because at least those are usually somewhat interesting. oh well. after i finish tonight i’ll be done with 6 out of 4 for the semester!

and barry, because you were joking about the term “quantum mechanic” for one who does quantum mechanics, i thought i’d mention that bob silbey referred to george uhlenbeck as a “statistical mechanic” in class today. let’s see a show of hands: who was better, uhlenbeck or goudsmit?

anthracene, d’you know what i mean?

i’m going to keep going with that whole word association thing i did before even though no one liked it. so the address for the new server is a bit, well, unwieldy? taolinda??? but y’all are so smart you’ll be able to remember it NO PROBLEM! but what i wanted to say was that ath.cx looks like anthrax (!!!), but that makes me think of anthracene since i was looking at the rotational spectrum of anthracene earlier today. and then spectrum makes me want to speculate on what the hell taolinda is. prolly rian bein in his own lil world. seriously. we had the following conversation with mike haimes the other day:

rian/mike: blah, blah, blah, nearest neighbors, blah, blah…
me: wait, nearest neighbors? like huckel theory?
rian: no, something different.
me: what is it?
rian: so, let say you have this box, and that’s like a square. then you have the refrigerator, which is a circle. and then if i give you a hand, what is it closest to?
me: ………………………………………..i….i..i..i……i…….
mike: um, you can think of it as the minimization of the euclidean distance between vectors associated with objects that contain binary values for certain characteristics.

in other words, rian thinks of things in REALLY weird ways that make NO SENSE WHATSOEVER to anyone else, and so having him explain things is often dangerous. but don’t get me wrong. that’s just one of the billion things i love about rian. so rian, don’t be offended if i go to mike for an explanation next time. that just means i love you. but yeah, that’s why i’m not too surprised to see something like taolinda in the blog’s url.

isn’t it great how different fields use the same terminology (and even better, acronyms!) for totally different concepts? like nearest neighbors in chemistry/physics and computer science? sometimes it gets a little absurd (seriously, computer dudes, IR means infrared), but on the whole i think it makes life so much more entertaining, since it sparks so much cross-disciplinary conversation. i was totally zoning out when rian and mike were talking until i heard them say nearest neighbors (hence the “blah, blah, blah” part), but now i know what that means in computer science! if it had a different name i would have just kept zoning out, but now my mind is so much richer. i wonder how many interdisciplinary collaborations have come about the same way… moral: let’s all hang out with people from lots of different fields and all try to use the same terminology.

does anyone read this anymore

so remember that post i had before? the one about people who possibly read this blog? well it think that now NO ONE reads the blog anymore…

at first i was thinking of blaming myself but then i realized that it isn’t my fault rurik decided to upgrade to ubuntu cunty cat or whatever.

anyway now this blog is running on my new server and it’s soooo fast. no srsly. i got a great deal from antonline.com, if you are looking for a server i highly recommend them.

computers aside, check out this picture:

but that picture is also old news, like the last blog post, when we got shirts and were so happy. i love everyone who bought our shirts. we actually need to get more. hopefully there will be enough for when we play swarthmore.

the real news it that i am going to peru this iap!! yesss. so far i will be going to cuzco and machu pichu!!

anyway mit is so annoying and my head is empty.

good news bad news

good news

we are playing swarthmore november 10th. we have t-shirts. we have a single. yay

i think that’s the only good news i have. i have a new desktop wallpaper. friday was one of the best days of my life. i rly wish i had a yperlink for my life. i guess it would be this blog. or my diary.

bad news

i am not feeling good. not physically. only mentally. i can’t figure it out. i guess you could guess what it might be, if you knew the right things. knowledge.

it’s so weird. i keep thinking everyone is upset at me. like for instance, i think dugan is unhappy with this blog. i would be sad if this became exclusively my blog. i would have to start a new blog but i prolly wouldn’t. maybe i am just being early 2000 style livejournal teen. i mean, i was one.

interesting news

i seem to become depressed whenever

1. i don’t have time to do the things i want to do
2. i feel as if i will have regrets in the future or i don’t know what to do to envision myself happy in the future
3. ppl lose interest in me

that was so easy. i guess each of those things aren’t bad in the long run. i wish someone with five million dollars would take me away. someone i could buy dinner for the next time around.

i want to make it clear

barry i am sorry that you were not mentioned in my previous list. i knew i would forget someone. no one should trust that list, especially considering the ordering.

omg am i blogging about my blog?! did i rly do it? the meta blog omggg.

i want to make it clear that it is one week after last week. last week remember when i posted about friday and saturday on sunday night? eleven pee em. it’s one week later and you wouldn’t even know it. couldn’t even tell it. who do you even think you are?

i only mention it because so many things have happened in the past week. life paradigm changing things. you wouldn’t even know it.

i want to make it clear that i am not a “breast man.” in fact i am no man such that one could qualify him with a part of the female body. and if even if i were such a man, haha okay i guess i would be a breast man but come on now. is that rly necessary? is klerfie a dick woman? come on now.

rurik wants categories on our blog. i was so puzzled by this idea. i asked him “govnah wot sort of catgories djalike” he replied “oh you know girls, school, drunk” hahaha i wonder what a girl post would be like. the only reason rurik says girls is that we talk about girls a lot. all the girls. all the girls we like and don’t like. wouldn’t you like to know??

so there is this girl in my pe class that i think is rly cute. i won’t reveal her name to you because gossip travels fast. i love the way she does cartwheels and handstands. i love her back handspring technique. she is truly a wonder of wonders. girl of girls. sighhh

next time you see me forget all your childhood insecurity bullshit and just be like “yo rian threesome” hopefully when that happens you will be praveen and another lucky lady.

dugan says

no one reads our blog

i say

the only ppl i care about reading my blog do this includes (in no particular order):

clifton
amanda
klrfie
kate
kemi?
rurik
dugan
bnewbold

i hope mike reads it too. and i hope some random other ppl read it. if you are reading this and you are not included in the list above. you should comment unless you are mega creepy then don’t comment. i’ll prolly delete your comment if you are a creep like nasty creep. if you have pube hair in your mouth then i will definitely delete your shit.

anyway what a week. i finally have time to myself. to do my own bidding, to make my own plans. i drank a lot of coffee so dumbbbbb but next week i have a lot of work to do so i have to be smart about my free time. but it’s so hard when you’ve been worked to the death and you just wanna go crazy like crazy crazy crazy like crazy omg speaking of crazy i hope erica griffith reads this blog and convinces me to get naked again

rurik’s sister is here. YES I KNOW ALEXANDRA PRIMIANI in da flesh. we got some ice cream with her and she was soo giggly. we played fuck kill marry and i took like 4094 gameboy camera pictures of her haha but i told her i only took one. my goal in life is to document alexandra’s life. no srsly.

also here is the finger

more space faces? daaaaaaamn!

ok, the wait is over. the september space faces album is done. no exclamation points here – i’m too tired. and i’m kind of in a weird mood. but anyway, it’s done, up, and ready for mass consumption right here. i’m looking at you, fadika. it’s called “What’s the Deal with the Space Faces?” and it’s possibly the last album you’ll get until we record our performance at swarthmore college on november 10th. THE END.

BUT on an even better note (definitely not C#), our first single is out now too! a long-time favorite, “The Sheet” has finally been packaged into a happy little morsel of rock for you to devour over and over right here. the b-side is the alternate take of the sheet from “GUI MatLab Sucks”. seriously, listen to this song. it’s going to climb the charts.

you’re the soundtrack to my life

so carrie okie band played their first non-mit show ever tonight at all asia! and it rocked! problem was, the opening act bailed out at literally the last minute, so quick like fox and beundias or melquiades filled in. it was a lot of fun playing the synth live for the first time in months, and playing with james is always so exciting. then carrie okie band came on and really rocked the house. emote control was great, as always. there was a new song (std) that featured harold on the accordion (!!!), and thankfully dalis made carrie bring back 7-11. i had to leave early for my radio show, but it just so happened that the last song i saw was mouse song, my personal favorite, which carrie dedicated to me. thanks carrie!!!!

last friday i saw !!! at the paradise and they were so amazing it was almost disgusting. they played everything i ever wanted. and then i was all sweaty and it was cold outside, and the next day i was so sick i could barely string together a coherent sentence. but i felt better that night, and now i’m almost 100% again.

why are weekends so useless for work? nothing ever gets done! ever! i have my only exam of the semester on wednesday, and i’m totally screwed. oh well. it will all be over soon.